Spring?

Anyone?
On our walk to the library today, I noticed the tiniest of buds on some of the trees and bushes. A sigh of relief eeked it's way out of my chest. This winter just might have an end after all. Tomorrow is the first day of March. I love March. March has always brought hope. When I was a kid it meant that the end of the school year wasn't too far off, and I could start to wear shorts again. I love the fact that we will soon "spring forward" and it will get darker later. Last year at this time I was getting BIG, with Barney feet and a fat face. I was excited to meet my baby.

It's almost Joaquin's first birthday. I can't believe it. Things are really starting to click for us as a family and I feel like I am starting to understand what kind of a mother I am. It's a trip, I'm not really who I thought I'd be! Turns out, I'm pretty alternative when it comes to parenting. I breast feed in public, I wear my baby in the snow, we sleep in a family bed, and don't tell anyone, but I secretly think Joaquin can read.

I still have no idea how one can manage more than one kid.

When I found out I was pregnant I immediately saw myself as joining the mommy club. I thought I would meet a bunch of moms and even if we didn't have much in common, we would all hang out and take our babies to the stroller matinee at the arts theater. I haven't been to the arts theater once, and I haven't made any mommy friends that I didn't already know. I have found ways to be my normal, anti-social self while allowing Joaquin to socialize a bit. It's all about the library. You have to be quiet and your kids can play in the children's area. I sit in a group with other moms and sing songs and listen at baby story time. The library is the bomb. Other low key mom/baby hang outs are; the YMCA, where I can take my boy for a swim. Used book stores, which is a lot like the library but for a small fee you don't have to give the books back. The goodwill, where treasures abound. And last but not least, the great outdoors, where moms and babies find piece of mind.

I've been thinking a lot about goals. Mostly, I've been thinking about how much mine have changed! I still have ambition but it is nothing like what I dreamed of pre-mama. The things I want now, not to be cheesy, are more like peace on earth instead of ruling the earth. Crazy. Most of my goals are very simple, like, "keep the house clean enough so there is one day a week that I don't really have to do a ton of chores" and "write blog." The bigger goals are about reading more and learning things more thoroughly, and becoming more self sufficient with stuff like food and clothing.
It's so bizarre, bearing a human has turned me into one.